There
is however one exception that makes his life different
from that of the average teenager. For the past
two years Jason has had to live with the knowledge
that he is HIV positive.
Today
Jason is upbeat about life, a far cry from what
it was two years ago when he decided to jump from
a cliff to his death a day after he heard the
words "you are HIV positive".
An
unassuming young man, Jason is all smiles as he
welcomes JIS News at his place of employment at
the Jamaica AIDS Support office. He does not appear
uncomfortable, as he has had to tell his story
time and time again at the various workshops he
now attends. However under the relaxed exterior
is a frightened youth who just wants to be a regular
teenager again. This becomes somewhat evident
as his voice cracks and the emotional pain becomes
noticeable on his face at times.
For
one more time Jason tells his tale of having gone
to the Comprehensive Health Centre on Slipe Road
for a regular check up after he noticed some rash
coming up on his skin. For him it was just a regular
visit to the doctor's office and so even when
he was asked to do a blood test he did not give
it much thought.
After
all he was only used to having sexual intercourse
with overweight women, a practice he developed
from as early as age 12. In his ignorance like
so many others, Jason believed if the woman was
overweight then she could not possibly be carrying
the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). He found
out this was not true through a very hard lesson.
Having
grown up in Maxfield Park, Jason said his life
was somewhat of a roller coaster, which he described
as having a lot of ups and downs. As a result
he took to a life of clubbing, hanging out with
his friends and womanizing.
All
that continued until he reached age 17 when his
life took a completely different turn. "I
was doing welding until I found out that some
rash came up on my skin and my mother said drink
cerese maybe that would keep it away but doing
it for over a month didn't actually work out so
I went to Slipe Pen Road Clinic and they say come
back the next day and I went back the following
day and the following day they said it was scabies,
but I must still come back the other day,"
he explains. "They gave me some prescription
and I filled it, went back the next day and found
myself in section three where actually the nurse
asked me to do a HIV test. She was asking me questions
like when was the last time I had sex and if I
had used a condom.then my mind was drifting as
I was wondering if a did use condom. Then I realize
that I never really use condom," he continues.
"I
didn't really take it as anything. I went back
the next month for my result and that was when
I found out I was HIV positive because the nurse
turn around to me and say Jason you are HIV positive.
I was like shocked," he recalls.
He
was in disbelief. Surely he could not have got
the virus from ladies he had been with as they
were always older and of course, fat. "Doing
the test was fine but when I went home my mind
was drifting in the past but I was saying nothing
like that because everybody I had sex with was
fat ladies. so my definition of HIV was a different
version," he says.
So
different was his perception of HIV that when
he first heard that he was positive all Jason
could feel was anger, which later turned to despair.
"Actually my mind went blank for awhile about
15 minutes and then she asked me who I am going
to tell and I say I am going to tell my parents
but all that was going through my mind was to
just get up and hit her with the chair. I was
very angry because I was saying I was going to
die so I should just get it over and done,"
he recalls.
Still
in a state of denial and disbelief, Jason says
he went home and slept. The next day he found
himself in Stony Hill standing at the edge of
a cliff just waiting for life to slip away. Until
this day he says, he has no idea who was the man
and where he came from who showed up and started
talking to him. "A gentleman stopped me and
said any problem I am in I can really come out.
It was like something just kicked inside and I
just turned back and went to Slipe Pen Road to
see if I was dreaming or something.
I
had to go back in the same chair just to hear
over again and from there I decided to tell my
parents," Jason recounts. "From what
the gentleman actually tell me I was getting the
courage saying not to worry kill myself because
there must be hope and life must go on and so
I just found the courage to go and tell my mother.
She actually laughed until she realized I was
very serious and then she called the family and
told them," he says.
At
first Jason says his father was very angry and
even went as far as to say hurtful things that
he did not mean. It took a while but his parents
eventually accepted that he was HIV positive,
but not before the blame game begun. "Then
daddy was starting to blame her and say that she
leave me to do certain things and didn't take
me up in hands and so forth. But I was thinking
that Daddy was the one who was always mixing up
his 'roots' and so I was looking back at that,"
Jason points out in a reflective mood.
For
the young man lack of knowledge on the subject
could very well be responsible for the predicament
he now finds himself in. "It was like watching
television and seeing them show the kids in Africa
and how they meagre down and so I was saying that
is only meagre person that has HIV and so forth,
but then I find out the wrong way that even fat
persons could have it," says Jason with a
slight smirk.
Even
though he says he is more focused now, Jason discloses
that there are times when he goes back into his
shell and even wonders why he had not simply gone
ahead and committed suicide. "Sometimes I
say you know I should just kill myself and done
because you know life does get hard at times.
Sometimes if it wasn't for friends and family,"
he says as his voice trails off to a whisper.
He however has managed to keep those thoughts
at bay, as he knows that if he should die it would
hurt his family. "The whole point of life
for me now is that if I die it would tear up a
lot of people inside," he says.
These
days instead of partying with his friends as much
as he used to, Jason spends a lot of his days
sharing his experience as a teen living with HIV,
a job that he finds rather rewarding. "I
love sitting in the crowd and wait until everyone
is finished and just hear some stuff that they
really say about HIV and so on. It does really
bring back memories. Some of the times when I
go up and start speaking if you drop a pin you
can hear it echo. Even if I don't reach the whole
20 teenagers, and I reach at least two that will
be good", he said with a gleam in his eyes.
Outside
of this responsibility, Jason says he just wants
to be a typical teenager. "Every teenager
just wants a car and that is typically me. I am
working towards it and I am halfway there. I have
already been to New York, flew out (of Jamaica)
for the first time and everybody say the first
time was going to be hard but it was so much fun..then
I say I want to do sky diving," he says smiling.
Fortunately
for Jason he still has many of reasons to smile,
as unlike others who find themselves with this
dreaded retrovirus that causes Acquired Immune
Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS), he does not face any
discrimination from friends or family. Jason says
he does not want to see any of his friends in
a similar position so he shares all the information
he receives from the Jamaica Aids Support where
he currently works. "Everything I learn from
JAS I actually share it with them. Sometimes condom
come I bring it to them and watch them fight for
the condoms," he says.
Unlike
two years ago Jason is determined to live his
life to its full extent and even has plans of
one day getting married. " Right now I say
is no sickness going to take me home is either
some stray shot catch me but no sickness is going
to take me home," he says with a determined
look on his face.
But
life is not always bright and Jason has to be
careful of his diet at all times. "Certain
things I have to cut out. I do like typical teenager
stuff like drink; smoke and you know all those
things have to cut out. At times I feel like Jason
again just to be a little troublemaker. However
at times I feel like I am not free to be a teenager
like when me and my friends go into clubs and
I have two Guinness they will come and say that
is the last one."
But
that is just a minor inconvenience to Jason who
is grateful that he is still in good health after
going through a serious bout of sickness. While
his health last, Jason says he plans to go back
to school so he can take up a temporary job position
with the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA)
office in New York when he is 20 years old. This
opportunity was opened for him when he went to
New York recently to attend a UNFPA conference,
where he told his story. An experience, which
he said, he thoroughly enjoyed, as he was able
to meet Secretary General of the United Nations,
Kofi Annan.
Concluding
the interview Jason had a message for friends
and family members of persons who are HIV positive.
"If your friends and family are HIV positive
don't push them aside because when you do, that
is it for them," he urged.
There
are some 22,000 persons living with HIV in Jamaica.
There are more than 40 million worldwide living
with HIV/AIDS. It is estimated that half a million
of these persons live in the Caribbean.